“Wherever you are, be all there!”

-Jim Elliot

Snow falling gently, lights on every house, and more quality time relaxing with your friends and family than you've had all year. No emails to answer or Teams calls to hop on early in the morning.

It sounds nice in theory, but for many, the holidays can be a unique source of extreme anxiety. If you're trying to close a big deal or looking for work, knowing that the situation won't improve for the next two weeks sounds like a worst-case scenario. It's supposed to be the most-wonderful time of the year, but you're just worried about having a job in January or keeping the lights on. Or, maybe you're tip-toeing on eggshells this week some because some Godzilla-sized family drama is right under the surface.   

Here's how to survive - and maybe even enjoy - the holidays despite the stress 

1. Compartmentalize

Is your financial stability important? Absolutely. Will worrying about it while your kids open presents do any good whatsoever? Absolutely not. There is a time to be present at work and a time to be present for your life with total disregard for your career and your bills. You will not solve all of your problems by trying to war-game them in the back of your mind while going through the motions with family and friends. All you're doing is ensuring that you'll be totally burned out from thinking about your problems without actually fixing them.

It's easier said than done, but with practice you can learn to compartmentalize. We often hear about compartmentalizing as a bad thing, but it's actually synonymous with being present. The question is, what are we being present for and when? Ignoring your work problems when you should be working will be disastrous, but ignoring your problems while you're seeing your parents for the first time in two years is a very good thing.

I actually learned this from Napoleon (we go way back 😎). When half of Europe declared war against him, he was constantly inundated with urgent demands for his attention. At times, the fate of the entire campaign seemed to rest on every decision, but his generals were amazed by his focus. He gave every scenario, every message, and every visitor his full attention hour after hour.

"My mind is a chest of drawers. When I wish to deal with a subject, I shut all the drawers but the one in which the subject is to be found. When I am wearied, I shut all the drawers and go to sleep."

_{- Napoleon Bonaparte, on why you should let go of your problems and just enjoy the holidays.}

2. Let It Go

We all want financial security, and it can be hard to think about anything else when you feel like you're about to drive off a cliff, but money isn't everything. Imagine that you don't achieve the financial security you want for another 20 years. Wouldn't it be terrible if you wasted all of those years waiting for enough money in the bank to let yourself really enjoy time with your family? What could be worse than that? If our happiness depends on money, then our happiness is basically for sale. Instead, we have to de-monetize our happiness. We need to diversify our emotional investments away from our financial investments.

Instead of doing the math on your bills over and over, focus on drawing positive energy from the people you care about. Being present and grateful enough to soak up that good energy is probably exactly what you need, but you will have to relax your death grip on your meta situation for just a moment.

So how do you let it all go? In short, write it down. Scribble out every question, concern, fear, goal, and To Do task you can think of. Not only will you get it all out of your head, but you might end up more organized, too. You could type it all out or, if you really want some powerful catharsis, write it all out by hand in a paper journal. Either way, you might be surprised how much better you feel after capturing everything that's been weighing you down so you don't have to constantly remind yourself of things you're afraid of forgetting.

Trust that, if you do as much as you can and keep learning along the way, things will inevitably get better. You'll find the job you need after the holidays or you'll close a big deal when people are back in the office, and you'll be glad you weren't a grinch the whole time.

Maybe your problems aren't financial, though. Maybe you're worried about getting into that grad school you applied to or getting that promotion you deserve or having to see that family member that drives you crazy. Whatever friction in your mind is stealing your focus, the most important thing you could possibly do is let it go. No opportunity, challenge, work stress, or grudge is worth losing your peace over. Not even taxes.

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of peace. Focus on the people and the things that bring you joy until they outshine all of the darkness.  

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,

Jon Cobb

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